It feels official now!

Today we had my first OB appointment. That seems weird. I go to the girl-doctor one time a year. Nothing more. We catch up, she does her stuff, and I'm off for 365 more days!

Not this time.

I was so nervous and sick to my stomach getting ready for this appointment. I was so scared that we would get there and there wouldn't be anything in my stomach and it was all just a dream. What if I didn’t hear the heartbeat – does it mean she isn’t in there? I feel pregnant. I am still eating like I’m pregnant, but I don’t have the symptoms of being pregnant. But my cycle still hasn’t started. What if this isn’t real?

When they called me back, since I was already 9 weeks along, they decide they would try and do an ultrasound on my stomach rather than the other-not so pleasant-very uncomfortable way.

My heart stopped. There she was. She -- I call it a "she" like I call all dogs “she’s” but I don’t know what she is. “It” is not an It. She is a Biscuit – had her little fists and feet up in the air saying hello. We checked the heartbeat and boy it was strong! 170.4. Music to our ears.

We had hoped to see my doctor then to go over all kinds of questions. I love my Gyno. I have gone to her for the last 5-6 years and she is great. However, she is in Frisco now, and I live in Las Colinas, work in Fort Worth, and we are moving. And not to Frisco. I knew going into today’s appointment we would need to change doctors and that she would not be delivering my sweet baby. But, I wanted my first appointment to be with someone I knew and I was comfortable with. Due to a scheduling issue and her being in surgery, we only left with sweet pictures of our little Biscuit.

Other than not seeing Dr. N, the appointment went so well. What a blessing! How is it possible to love something the size of a grape and only 1” long? Truly God’s miracle. We are so blessed and thankful.

I am continually amazed at how and why God has blessed me with such a wonderful life. Blessed beyond words. Not just because I have a new baby brewing, either. I sit back and think of all the things I have in my life and the family I have and I don’t get it. I’m not the World’s Best Christian! I don't go to church every Sunday (sorry mom and dad - we will be better!) I do love Jesus. But so do you. So does my sweet friend who lost her baby 3 days after he was born. So does my girlfriend who’s parents are getting a divorce and she is 25 years old. These people deserve happiness and something great in their lives right now. I don’t. I don’t deserve this precious life because I already have so much and have done so little. But – I will just be thankful and continually praise God for the abundant love He has shown me and my family.

From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. John 1:16

January 25, 2010 - The day our lives changed forever...

Let’s back up, shall we?

We got back from a fabulous family vacation over Christmas in Beaver Creek, CO. This year was different. My “bonus dad” Gerald has been sick – very sick – since May 28, 2009. After 3 months in the hospital with kidney failure, he has been recovering at home since September and is almost 100% better! He is our miracle! He was on death’s door several times (although, he would never admit he was ever sick) and we thought we had spent the last Christmas with him. Christmas 2010 was going to be so special – not only was “Dad” there (in full force), but both my brother’s families were there. This NEVER happens. All the kids are never under the same roof. But this year, we made it happen – it was that important to celebrate Christ’s birth and thank Him for giving us our Dad back!

Brandon and I celebrated and relaxed. This was our first vacation since Gerald got out of the hospital. This was my mom and Gerald’s first time to really escape what the last 6 months entailed. Every year Christmas has a theme – complete with a “booklet” with the itinerary’s, phone numbers, meals, matching theme pajamas, and of course, a poem! This year’s theme was “Lucky Family” – and that we are. So, we celebrated just how lucky we are – if you know what I mean…

That brings me to January. After we got home I knew I had a big project waiting for me at work that encompassed me flying to Pennsylvania with a customer, work tirelessly and overtime getting this project done on a short deadline. But I did it! The next day I was sick. I thought it was just a cold that I developed from working too much on little sleep.

Nope. Nothing would work. Finally, after a week of getting worse, I headed to the doctor first thing Monday morning. January 25, 2010.

All weekend Husband kept telling me (jokingly) that he thought I was pregnant, but I just laughed. While I was at the doctor’s office, she asked me when my last cycle was and if I was still taking birth control. Well – I just knew I was about to start my cycle (TMI, sorry!) but we have not been on BC since Gerald got sick six months ago. We weren’t trying -- we just weren’t not trying! I explained that to the doctor and then she said, “pee in a cup.”

My. Heart. Sank. Not because I didn’t want to be pregnant, but for the first time I thought it could be real. Maybe I could be pregnant. What was I going to do? We never told our families we were trying. What would my mom think? What would work think? Where would we live?

Well, I peed all over everything. My hand. The toilet. My clothes. Everywhere. I was so nervous. I texted Husband 1,000 times and he decided to drive to the doctor’s office to see me. I thought that was ridiculous, so I called to tell him, “no,” but as we were talking, in walked the doctor, “Congratulations! You’re pregnant.” What? No! Not possible. How? She explained just “how” to me. Further detailing that the time of conception was between Dec 29 and Jan 4th. Yup. She’s right. Remember when I said we celebrated over Christmas. We did. Aren’t we lucky?!

Husband was on the phone and heard the news. He walked in seconds later to wipe my tears and rub the belly. He celebrated at dinner, while I just contemplated everything that I hadn’t planned yet and how a baby changed everything. How could we have gotten pregnant and I hadn’t gotten everything done that I needed to yet?

God has a sense of humor, doesn’t he? After we prayed that night, I finally had a peace about this sweet joy. God had a plan. He knew that 2010 was going to be Lucky! God didn’t waste any time – Jan 1, 2010 – to be exact.

September 21, 2010 will be our Lucky Day!